How oft the sadness of regret
Would bleed its vesture on my heart
Or paint its dark and sordid art
Across a day not broken yet
How oft its vengeance would remain
A visage, hidden and despised
Where hope lies flat, unrealized
In cold and unrelenting chains
Expectation’s pressing weight
Would push me hard into life’s dirt
Drowning passion in its hurt
Exchanging tenderness for hate...
...and peace would slip from my embrace
My joy be overcome with dread
But for redemption’s river shed
From Hands of sweet, atoning Grace
Janet~
This poem is stunning. I absolutely love it.
ReplyDeletevanyieck~
ReplyDeleteThank-you SO much. Without grace...nothing else would matter.
Lovely poem and an interesting form. I'm fascinated with the rhyme scheme and the change from iambic tetrameter in the first and third lines of the third stanza. Is it intentional? It gives an extra, subliminal emphasis to the stanza. Is there a special feeling for you there? It may be something I'd like to explore in my writing. It is very effective.
ReplyDeleteMike,
ReplyDeleteI so appreciate your words and SO realize how uneducated I am when it comes to the terms you are using...
I am excited to study them and learn.
When I wrote this...I decided to wait an hour or two before I posted it...I had read your poem 'Change' and you mentioned how you thought it showed that you rushed a little, and I realized most likely my biggest down-fall is impatience...I write, post and seldom go back to look again. So this time (these words came to me as I was finishing up the pies and washing the floor), so I finished up my cleaning, then re-read it...and realized that something about the last verse sounded stilted and forced,and I close my eyes and simply searched for words and rhythm that best portrays the thought, and this was the best I could come up with. I find the end of a poem my most challenging part...
I never think about the rhyming patterns until I am writing...and I've maybe never seriously looked at 'stretching' but I promise i will.
Thank-you again.