Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 13, 2024

If Skunks Could Fly...

A bit of silliness to start today...

Last night in the course of conversation I mentioned how 
I had a dream/nightmare that skunks could fly!
I didn't elaborate but it was quite traumatic which is likely why I remember it!
 I was bent over in the garden and one landed on my back
 and started turning round and round like some animals do, 
trying to find a comfy spot for a snooze...
and I couldn't move for fear it would spray!!! then I woke up๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚)

One of the listeners kiddingly challenged me to turn it into a poem.
haha!! Of course, he (Glenn) should have known I can never resist a poem-challenge๐Ÿ˜

***
Ps.118:24
This is the day the Lord has made;
We will rejoice and be glad in it.


I didn't have a picture of skunks but I took a photo of these beauties on Sunday!
They cooperated nicely
unlike the loon, that disappeared every time I clicked...๐Ÿ˜…


(Thankfully no flying skunks landed on the lake!)


It could be worse; sin’s curse of few-and-full-of-trouble-days
Sometimes we fret, and forget mercy’s very caring ways
So, if you’re feeling down and out, with doubtful, poutful sigh
Remember that it would be worse if God made skunks that fly

Imagine, when you settle for a little outdoor nap
A flying skunk would flutter down, kerplunk, into your lap
And you would need to wait, stock-still until it flew away
For fear you startle it and be drenched with stench of skunk-spray

Imagine a day at the beach, if like sea-gulls, skunks flew
And hovered overhead waiting for a stray fry or two
Or if, while tending gardens we would need to watch our back
Against possible peril of a flying skunk attack

What chaos would ensue for me and you; oh, aren’t you glad
That heads are not in danger of being skunk’s landing pad
And we don't need to worry about skunks building a nest
In our favorite tree; my, my, but aren't we sweetly blessed?!!

This is the day the Lord has made, rejoice, be glad in it
So much could be much worse, we all humbly have to admit 
So, when we count God's mercies, among many mentioned things
I think that we should add, ‘that He did not make skunks with wings’

© Janet Martin

If you are familiar with Peter Santenello's videos HERE you will recognize Titus!
The guy in the hat! Singing






Wednesday, June 1, 2022

So Rather Than Lament...


Happy 58th Birthday, Jim!

(I asked him what it looks like where he is celebrating his birthday
so he sent me these sweet shots of upstate New York!)
(for non-regular visitors, he is a truck-driver)




...and since my birthday always follows a week later 
this wry look at getting older is for both of us๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ˜˜

Like miles beneath your eighteen wheels the years just peel away
Sometimes it feels as if time steals a month, a week, a day
But it is futile to object or try to rearrange
This thing that nobody as yet has found a way to change
So rather than lament the swift, deft exodus of years
Let’s make the most of what is left before it disappears

…like laughing at ourselves when what once functioned starts to slip
Like dancing like we still have swagger in our one good hip
Like learning how to shuffle when our ‘gid-up’ starts to stall
While wishing for a port-a-potty halfway down the hall
And when one younger wonders at the blunders we engage
We now can laugh and blame our gaffes on good old, good old age

When the forgetter performs better than Remember does
When we become the crowd that prefers Life The Way It Was
When favor and frustration wage a telling tug of war
Futile to try to act like we are only twenty-four
So rather than lament the weathered cover of our youth
Let’s make the most of huff and puff and just admit the truth

Yes, sometimes getting up requires extra grunts and groans
The marathons we run are fetes of grand, mental milestones 
And the face in the mirror, we don’t recognize as ‘me’
Must be a rascal playing tricks on fine-tuned faculty๐Ÿ˜‚
My goodness! Time’s surprises sometimes make me shake my head
The highlight of the day is when its time to go to bed

© Janet Martin

Here's to many more 'surprises' by the grace of God!







Monday, January 24, 2022

Womanly Unique


 Two lovely ladies from our church have created
The Mosaic Podcast (beauty created from brokenness)
Every single guest leaves me with a feeling of woman-to-woman kinship, 
not in everything but in something, 
because as women, in spite of all our differences
we have so much uniquely in common!
Right?


So, woman to woman,

Let’s not let our differences 
destroy our common ground
We may not all be kindred spirits, 
but still we are bound
By something womanly unique 
that leaves a man perplexed
Because they never know for sure 
what we will think of next
๐Ÿ˜…
Janet~  




I'm kinda glad Jim didn't see me climb a tree in boots with heels
with a coffee in my hand
to have a little dusk-soak a few dusks ago....
(the tree climbing was not preplanned 
or I would have chosen more practical footwear)๐Ÿ˜Š

Cheers!






Monday, November 15, 2021

Like My (almost) Pet...


Some days.
Seriously!!

 I like to reserve Mondays to climb the
domestic to-do-ladder before another week of childcare starts.
Today required a morning+ away 
for dentists appointment, groceries and other errands
inspiring this rather wry ditty as I tried to get my bearings
when I returned to 'exactly like I left it!



Dear Almost Pet...

You’re always here to greet me
As faithful as can be
I think you think that I would miss
Your loyal company

You’d sit and wait forever
For when I go away
You do not flinch one teeny inch
Or take a holiday

You hide in any corner
And wait in every room
Amused at frantic antics that
Require mop and broom

Sometimes I think you giggle
When, laden, I walk in
With my arms full of groceries
Heaped right up to my chin

You are a little like a pet
That wears me to the bone
If I ignore you, you can bet
You’ll make your presence known

You’re not a playful puppy
No bunny, nor a cat
You’re my faithful trusty housework
Now what do you think of that

© Janet Martin

And what good housewife would leave the kitchen like this??!!!๐Ÿ˜‚
In my defense...Monday morning is Jim's checklist morning
before his leaving for the week which involves Wife...
Let's see!
Do we have
Hat
coat
pills
phone
wallet?
yup...
"hey Janet, where did you put my heel cream?
I need it this time of year!'

um. I think I threw it in the fruit bowl on the table...

okay, where was I??
oh right!
thermos full of coffee
2 foil-wrapped omelets
cheese, sliced
2 sandwiches
meal/meals (dinner leftovers) in a foil tin for his truck oven
foil-wrapped pizza slices
fresh muffins
fruit
yogurt
cereal
bananas
h-m-m-m...
did I miss anything
oh, yes
3 sets of clean clothes
Hug
Kiss
see you Saturday
drive safe!!
headlights out the driveway as he backs up
Sit down 
pray
read devotions
make more coffee.
Make Matt's lunch
start laundry
write poem
look at clock
gasp.
YIKES!!!
I need to get ready for the dentist
That's my excuse๐Ÿ˜

Saturday, April 24, 2021

Why Do I Look The Way I Look?

 To Whomever it may concern๐Ÿ˜‚

For today's prompt, write a question poem. 

So while a scale horizon-lines...

Why do I look the way I look?
Well, I get lost in thought your see
My mind is like a picture book
When thinking gets the best of me

So, if my gaze seems far away
Though we are sitting, eye to eye
And I miss most of what you say
And make no sense with my reply

Forgive me, if you can, my dears
I am still learning the fine art
Of fitting words inside my ears
When I am lost in worlds apart

So while I scale horizon-lines
And fail to listen, please be kind
And smile as I wrangle with vines
 Tangled in mazes of my mind


© Janet Martin

Monday, April 13, 2020

A Pity-Party Poem (just for fun)




Some people have time to wonder and rhyme
And others don’t
Poor things
Some people have time to wander and climb
And others don’t
Poor things
Some people have time to sip cuppa tea
And others won’t
Poor things
Some drink the ink of poetry
Others just read,
Poor things

© Janet Martin


Thursday, December 5, 2019

Give Thanks and Don't Annoy The Cook

What happens when you layer this in the crockpot?
(chicken or any meat of your preference, rice, (or quinoa) corn, onion,
jalapeno or sweet peppers, canned tomatoes,
 beans ( kidney, pinto or black) and cheese on top)
Filling for wraps! Serve with sour cream and salsa or spicy Thai Sauce

... a bit of thinly sliced cabbage for greenery in the wrap adds filler and cuts back on carbs!
Yes, there were raised eye-brows when I suggested this
but the fresh greens in the store are pretty pricey right now
so we just don't always have them on hand!



Give thanks where dusk has drawn dark shutters over land and sea
Where what was new this morning decks the halls of history
Give thanks where supper hour beckons us to grab a seat
As we all have in common what the cook has prepped to eat

Give thanks with humble homage to the One who grants us This
Give thanks for appetites even when something tastes amiss
Give thanks and do not grumble at your share of daily bread
*And don’t annoy the cook or you might wear it on your head

© Janet Martin

Thankfully my family does not grumble when it comes to meals.
They know better than to open the door to a pep-talk about appreciation
and the less-fortunate!๐Ÿ˜€ 

 Oh! and purple room I was painting a week ago is now 'cream' room!






Thursday, November 7, 2019

Ode to the Stretchy Skirt...

For today’s prompt, pick an article of clothing, make it the title of your poem, 
and then, write your poem.

 (below, a 'stretchy skirt' and shirt load enjoying one of our last nice laundry days; not today) ๐Ÿ˜



Stretchy skirts are so forgiving
Room enough for give and take
After all, dears, We. Are. Women.
(Therefore men, we fluctuate)

Toss that scale out of the window
Why ruin a perfect day
Grab a stretchy skirt and sweater
Never mind what numbers say

Ask yourself…how are you feeling?
Do a two-step, whirl and twirl
In a stretchy skirt, no limits
You can feel like a school-girl

Don’t cater to fashion experts
Pulling, pinching, cinching, ouch!
Grab a stretchy skirt and sweater
And you will not be a grouch

Stretchy skirts are always perfect
Never out of season-style
Get a couple, it is worth it!
You will smile and smile and smile

Stretchy skirts are so obliging
Polite to a fault, (I know)
But they deserve a small homage
“Stretchy skirt, I love you so”

© Janet Martin