Monday, February 28, 2011

Not Quite Big Enough.....


And then I knew……
As you threw back your head
And laughed
Free and easy
As you held me
In your bluest gaze
As you tromped through the snow
Ahead of me
In your boots one size too large
Or when you talked with your mouth full
Because you could not wait
As you said ‘I love you’
And gave me your valentine card
Two weeks late
As you squeezed my hand
While we prayed
And as you heard with me
And agreed…brooks do laugh,
As you named your purple teddy bear 'purple'
And cried because you let your brother's friend
Color your favorite picture
Then I knew
My heart will never be quite big enough
To hold all of the love
I have
For you

Mom~
Otherwise known as Janet

Something to Think About.....


Fences are erected to separate things
Walls are built to contain
But thought respects neither as on lucid wings
It drifts over valley and plain
There is no distance it cannot fly
No height that it cannot scale
A catalyst of imagery
That we do not dare to unveil…….

If I should leave unguarded
My rampant trail of thought
I fear that it would desecrate
Each virtue I've been taught
If I should lie without restraint
Within my fantasy
It would take me to a place
Where I should never be...............

….and though we cannot build fences
Or walls to contain our thought
We must learn to master this fiend
And think the things we ought
'We are what we eat' the saying goes
Our thoughts are much the same
If we are weak and undisciplined
We have only ourselves to blame

Janet~

The 'Blue Hour'.......


Blue-moon shimmers on fields of frost
Cold, blue glimmers on limbs wind tossed
Blue dusk gathers upon the snow
As dark blue whispers murmur low
Blue-tipped reeds shiver and bend
Blue-lipped moans weep on the wind
Blue horizons touch the sky
Where the long, blue shadows lie
Here is the hour of blue light
After day and before night

Janet~

The ‘blue hour’ is a little later every week!!!
I love to watch the ‘blue hour’ deepening, deepening…..

Cloud-burst......


How is it that you come to me?
Like a cloud-burst; suddenly
How can the mention of your name
Ignite an instant, powerful flame
Or, as light flickers on a breeze
You come, in moments soft as these

How is it that the thought of you
Intensifies the sky so blue?
Or when the night is dark and still
When misty moonlight ghosts the hill
A torrent, suffocating, kind
Sweeps the portals of my mind

In the after-light of day
How is it that you pass this way?
When the midnight smells like rain
And wild-flowers whisper in the wind
When the cloud bursts suddenly
How is it that you come to me?

Janet~

In Walking Away


I walk away from yesterday
In moments receding
As the ebbing tide
Yet, as I turn
I realize that, in the act of walking away
I am simply walking toward
The moment
Of you

Janet~

In the Gathering of Moments......


This moment, even before we release it
Becomes a piece of our past
Thoughts become memories
Some fade; some are iron-cast

A spark becomes a flame
A flame becomes a raging fire
As a thought becomes hope
And hope becomes thirsting desire……

…..desire spawns dreams
But at the end of it all
They too reside in the blue
Of the shadows that fall

Moments become minutes
Hours, days, years
In the gathering of moments
A lifetime disappears

Janet~

Sunday, February 27, 2011

What You Said..........


You didn’t have to say a word
Your eyes whispered it all
Some things are better spoken
Without syllables
And I would go back there
Again if I could
But wishing and wanting
Never did any good
Though I wonder sometimes
If you hear it too
When the sun has gone down
And the whole world is blue
I remember the first time
You said hello
And what you said without words
So long ago

Janet~

Saturday, February 26, 2011

The Deepening Twilight


A hint of sadness tinges
The fading of the sun
Like the sighing fringes
Of a summer almost gone
Its resignation hovers
Like a vague, translucent shroud
With dark and mumbling colors
Of a distant thunder-cloud

The deepening of the twilight
Intensifies desire
I slip my hand across the night
Absorb the wind-song choir
A barren landscape shivers
‘Neath this purple lullaby
As its soft passion quivers
Like a teardrop in my eye

It falls away in murmurs
Like the dying of a day
And I can’t help but wonder
If it’s always been this way
A silent resignation
As we turn another page
A wordless affirmation
Of a thing called ‘middle-age’

Janet~

A Tip for Kids about Moms..........


Don't ask her at night when her head is so tired
If you can do that or this......
If you wait until morning after her coffee
Who knows.......she just might say 'yes'!!!

J~

I just read that smelling coffee can actually be
just as good as drinking it!
Not true!!!!! I tried that:)

Friday, February 25, 2011

See You Soon.....


Minutes compile
Expand
Pushing hours between us
Then days
Weeks
‘A little while’
Stretches into an eternity
And seeing you soon
Is like peering through a haze
At the moon
Or to the shore
On the other side of the sea
A little piece of me
Stays
With you
Every time you leave
And a little piece of you
Sustains me in between
Each good-by and hello
As the ebb and flow
Of years
Lines our faces
With tears
Of both joy and sorrow
Love's tender traces
Maybe tomorrow
‘Soon’ will be
Just a day away

Janet~

The phrase 'see you soon'
often makes me a little sad.
How soon is 'soon'?

You........#2


It’s more than the comfortable feeling
Of slipping into a favorite pair of jeans
Or the warmth in the air
When your face is almost touching mine
Or the rush of expectation
As ball-point touches paper
The passion in a perfect word
It’s more than the meeting of glances
Across the room
Or seeing the icicle plunge to the ground
Because the sun was too warm
And the sky perfect blue
No……..the thrill I feel
In a moment like this
Can only be described in one word
You

Janet~

Vegetable Soup


Wash, peel, chop, slice
Measure, feel, pour, dice
This is my dance
Choreographed for me
Suiting my hands
Color and harmony
Of the purest kind
A gentle ballet
For the eye and the mind
Carrots orange, turnips yellow
Savory, warm, aroma mellow
Potatoes, cabbage, peppers, beans
White, purple, reds, greens
Here is nourishment for the soul
Season, cook, place into bowl
Supper time, rally the troops
M-m-m-m good, love served as vegetable soup

Janet~

I love making soup.
There is a pure kind of therapy
In chopping, dicing, slicing….
And preparing a good, wholesome supper.

Prelude to Spring.........


It’s a stirring within dead stillness
Silence without a name
Evoking an urgent longing
To press it from whence it came
An ambience of expectation
Hovering in the brush
Beneath still-life submission
I sense a deeper push
As waters burst the barriers
Of winter's frozen shell
The rush of silver laughter
Now tunes the murmuring dell
A quickening of pulses
Deep within the earth
A stirring of the senses
An imminent re-birth
The harbor of hope’s promise
Cradled in bud and limb
A deep and soundless wakening
Prelude to nature’s hymn


Janet~

I did go on a trek yesterday afternoon.
The grayness did not hold its usual biting chill.
There’s not enough snow left to ski on the fields so
I walked, feeling like an unwanted intruder
Breaking the wind-swept stillness……..

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Quiet.......



The lee is dark and silent now
Even the wind has ceased to blow
The shadows fade into the deep
And all the children are asleep
The quiet reaches to the star
Darling, I wonder where you are………..

Is it quiet where you are too?
Is the sky purple or blue?
Is the silence dark and deep?
I wonder if you are asleep
I pause but there is no reply
Save for the moon up in the sky


J~

I sat on the deck tonight
with a cup of coffee,
the silence broken by
the howl of the dog next door
calling for his owner who is......
no more.

A Letter


Darling, if I should write you a letter
What is it that I would tell?
Would I speak of such wee trifles as weather?
And ask ‘have you been well?’
Or would I commit to this humble parchment
The things I should like to say
Darling, if I would write you a letter
Would you keep it or throw it away

Darling, if I would write you a letter
Would you bother to read it at all?
Or would you reply that you like it better
When I pick up the phone and call
Darling does the smell of ink and paper
Drive you a little crazy too?
And should I decide to write a letter
Would you mind if I wrote it for you?

Janet~

In this electronic age do we still write letters?
A hand-written letter cannot be deleted.
It can last for generations.
I came across such a letter one day when I was putting some things away.
It was a letter to my grandma from her sister. PRICELESS!!!!!

Is This Really It?


Am I a proprietor or slave?
The toil of both lead to the grave
Do they not?
And is there any merit then
To strive to do the best I can
With what I’ve got?
Or is it just a choice of means
Until the swaying ever-greens
Weep on my tomb?
The dust of all is equal there
Is there reason still to care?
Is death my doom?
Has any seen the tears I’ve wept?
Or is there any tally kept
Of joys or sorrows?
When the beggar and the king
Rest side by side at evening
With no tomorrows
Will one be of greater worth?
Or is this life upon the earth
A grand illusion?
A little blip upon a screen
An actor in a random scene
Of mass confusion
Is this really all there is?
A journey to vast emptiness
No rhyme or reasons?
From the cradle to the grave
Is this the breadth of all we have?
Four quickened seasons?
How dark then, growing old would be
A hastening of futility
To cold, hard sod
Beyond this life is so much more
Death is but the wondrous door
That leads to God……….

Janet~

I’m so glad there is One
Who sees each step I take
My little successes
And every mistake
He sees my smile
Counts each tear that I cry
Thus by the grace
Of God, go I

Other People's 'Ordinaries'


She sighs as she talks about her crazy week
At the office on the sixth floor
Where her window faces the harbor-front
And she's got her name on the door
She keeps saying she would quit if she could
I stare with envy at her perfect manicure
My nails bear the marks of dish-water and splitting wood
The brief-case she carries and the bag on her shoulder
Amplifies my domesticity; I suddenly feel much older
As I picture her day through the eyes of romance
I know I would not trade if given the chance
Yet, I can’t help but wonder how it would be
To be in by seven and done at three
To sport name-brand bags instead of tea-towels on my arm
But she looks at me as if my life were a charm
Sandwiches, I could make them in my sleep
I’ve grown quite accustomed to my laundry heap
Every morning at eight-o-clock
I wave as the bus pulls away from the walk
Wondering how old my youngest child will be
Before she’s ‘too old’ to wave to me
'House-wife'she says, visualizing a painting in the shade
A life of cookies and lemonade
And maybe it is, here and there
A smile, a kiss, a tear and a prayer
Her polished appearance makes me seem quite dull
She says she's decided to enroll
In a couple new classes and maybe then
She can work her way out of the craziness she's in
My mental check-list of what needs to be done
I suddenly decide is not worth mentioning
With a click of her heels she hurries away……
‘I have no idea how she feels’ I hear myself say…..
H-m-m-m… I think I’ll go outside, hike to the woods for a while
The housework can wait……I hum……I smile

Janet~

Why do we tend to perceive other people’s ‘ordinaries’
With a degree of something akin to romance………
Enjoy the ‘ordinary’ you’re in
Kick up your feet AND DANCE!!!!

Intangible You.........


I only want a piece of you
To touch between your words
I cannot clasp within my hands
Some sentiment I’ve heard
I cannot brush my fingertips
Across the silent air
Or hold between my trembling lips
The echo of your prayer

I want a piece of you to quench
The sorrow in my hunger
Between my fists I cannot clench
The echo of last summer
I cannot reach to touch the wind
Or blue skies up above me
Tell me, is there anything
At all that you can give me?

I only want a piece of you
But that defies all reason
I cannot hold the color blue
The softness of your breathing
And just a little piece of you
Could never satisfy me
I realize, the whole of you
Is wrapped up deep inside me

Janet~

The Face in the Mirror....


You do not say one thing but mean another
There is no mystery in you I need to discover
I know more than I really care to
I know the undisguised truth about you
Your desires, your regrets, your thrills
I’ve beheld first-hand your clash of wills

Skin forms lips, cheeks, a nose
My eye-lids, they open, they close
But skin is merely a cover of flesh
The face in the mirror has no secrets
That I have not been privy to
Oh, yes, I know all about you….

……..of what makes you laugh, or weep
Of thoughts you caress before you sleep
I know what makes your pulses race
I know the person behind that face
I view it with startling clarity
I know that face; it represents me

Janet~

The Other Dream.....


You were there
Virility-charged air
Pulsed, throbbed, trembled

But like low-lying mist
Dissolves when kissed
Awakening stole the visual

J~

The Dream...........


I pushed my dreams aside……..
There were babies to hold
And tears to be dried
There were cheeks to kiss
And beds to make
Dust bunnies to catch
And cookies to bake
There were toys to pick up
And clothes to mend
Suppers to cook
And gardens to tend
Children to bathe
And stories to read
Messes to clean up
And bread dough to knead
And now and then a little gleam
As I recall a fading dream….

……..I pushed my dreams aside
There were bills to pay
Someone needed a ride
There was hockey and homework
And basket-ball too
Music recitals
And shopping to do
There were hands to hold
And fears to calm
Floors to sweep
The cookies are gone
Dishes to wash
Laundry to fold
Oh Lord, how fast
I’m growing old
And in my eyes the soft tears gleam
As I realize I’m living the dream

Janet~

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Quiver......


Come my love, the shadows lengthen
Day is sinking low
The sky above is deepening
In whispers on the snow
And we must haste
We cannot waste
The remnant of its measure
The dark land lies
Beneath the skies
A low and muted pleasure

Come my love, there is no moon
The heart’s a lonely hunter
The echo of its mournful tune
Drifts low in meadows yonder
And I must taste
This pleading waste
With you I’ll roam its splendor
The night unfurls
In dark blue swirls
Your lips are warm and tender

Come my love, too soon the light
Of dawn breathes on our shoulder
Fading out the slumbering night
As we are one day older
The wind exhales
The dark night pales
Like ink upon the river
Our eyes touch
It is too much
The barren tree-tops quiver

Janet~

The Duel......


She tightens stormy fingers
Across the fragile cusp
Where sudden sunshine lingers
In spite of her deep thrust
There seems to be a softening
Within the golden ray
A lilting song of beckoning
Beyond her lips of gray

Her pale white brow is bluer now
A hint of glimmering mirth
Splashes on the weary snow
That decks the restless earth
And in her sullen brooding
Her will intensifies
She howls in tunes foreboding
Tears storm-clouds from her eyes

She will not be defeated
Her cold and chilling dread
Is violently repeated
Her fury is not dead
And yet, whilst she unleashes
Her fury in the air
The southern hills and sashes
Melt beneath her stare

She will not reign forever
The bud upon the limb
Is pressing to the surface
She feels the might of them
The brook, once still and colder
Cannot contain its song
….she humps her stubborn shoulder
She knows it won’t be long…….

…..the day of her departure
Is waiting in the breeze
The scent of passions fervor
Spawns possibilities
Her iridescent haunting
Is waning as she moans
She hears her rival taunting
In quickened undertones

Janet~

There is something about this time of year I love…….
Still quite subtle now, but we see her in the lengthening of days,
In the slight softening of the sun’s rays……
Winter’s rival is moving in
The duel is about to begin

Too Much Fun......


I'll admit
I'm having too much fun
What of it?
The gold in the morning sun
Or the shadow-land
Tossed down by the moon
Tickle my hand
I tremble; I swoon
The soft blue spark
Flickering in your eye
Lights up the dark
I want to cry
Because of things
That are too far-gone
Their taunting sings
On hills wind-blown
But I draw them to me
Like faded sketches
Finding sympathy
In the wish-worn edges
Because after all
Is said and done
Darling, I'm having
Too much fun

Janet~

Perplexed by You.......

I smile to myself, slightly perplexed
Completely content and thoroughly vexed
Some days I have nothing but failure to show
Until I remember, I love you so

J~

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Invisible Brook

Today it draws me insistently
This invisible brook
Pouring into every crevice
Every darkened nook
Rippling over polished and faded
Markers of time
After-effects
Of the silent storm
Full and over-flowing
With eager passion spent
I linger, quiet, content
And softly gaze
Through the glimmering haze
Listening to its dashing song
I press it to my heart
It eases me along
And I do not resist
But allow myself to be kissed
Before I am old
Too old for this
Before I am willing to say
I had a good life
I choose to stay
Immersing myself in its silver-gray
I am carried away…….
.....Away……
……..Away
In my thoughts
My thoughts
My thoughts of you

Janet~

The Spring


It does not gurgle like the brook
Meandering through the verdant nook
It bubbles like a soundless spring
Flowing from a source within….
Gleams in my eye like summer dew
My never-ending love for you

Janet~

When No One Is Watching......


Sometimes, when no one is watching
I reach out, quickly snatching
Favorite thoughts and memories
Back again
I taste them, as forbidden sweets
Closing my eyes,to savor every last bit
Of sugar that may be left
In them
What a wonderful pleasure I have found
Some things are still delicious
The second time around

J~

Into the Blue......


The moon casts her glow like a silver path
On the gleaming snow where twinkling stars laugh
As down from the sky, in wavering strains
Drifts the melody of warmer refrains
A snowflake spirals to the tip of my tongue
I taste it and smile; for a moment I am young
And I reach; reach up to the starry clime
But I cannot touch the passage of time
Or the pieces of you that have slipped away
Into the blue of yesterday

Janet~

Monday, February 21, 2011

Silent Storm


In the white-washed after-light of day
Another year silently ebbs away
Unlike the passing of a storm
The landscape remains unscathed, untransformed
No tortured, ragged aftermath
Where we can trace its powerful path
But simply a trickle of laughter and sorrow
The mystery of moments hid in tomorrow
The blink of an eye
The tick of the clock
A wistful sigh
The sobering shock
In the realization
Of time’s soundless hastening
A sudden revelation
A wordless chastening
As our wee mortality
Stares us in the face
And we ponder the futility
Of the human race
And life's silent storm
Leaves its trace on our brow
As we become
A little older now…….

Janet~

Today my brother...11 years younger than I,
asked me if I think I'm in the best years of my life.
I told him 'I think so'....and then I said...11 years ago
I knew so:) How will we really know what the 'best years' are?
But, my dear brother, this I know WE CAN'T STOP TIME.....
so count your blessings, not your wrinkles....of course you
don't have any...yet:)

Happy 34th B-day, Calvin!!!

In My Hurry


I never treasured you
As I should have
Or even recognized you
For whom you would be
….and now you are gone
I can never have you back
You will not return
So I can hold you again
The way you should be held….
To fully touch and taste you
I remember your scent
It taunts me now
You have become
The ache in my throat
The silent bleeding in my heart
I write of you
For you haunt me
In the misty morning
Or in the quiet low-light of the day
Or when the night is the color of you……
Intangible blue
Am I in love with you?
….or simply mourning the passing of myself
You have never changed
You are
And have always been
The past………
The irretrievable, untouchable past
Tomorrow, today’s raw, relentless wind
Will join you
As soft rain begins to fall

Janet~

Never let the moment
You hold slip away
Lest, while you’re not looking
It becomes
Yesterday

J~

Man..........


Between the tall buildings
The towers, sky-scrapers
Below the rewards of
Man’s greatest endeavors
There, at the base
Of grand architecture
Is the most amazing
And intricate creature
….man

Though buildings may draw
Grand admiration
And we stand in awe
At an artists creation
The inevitable remains
This is simply a street
Lined with structures
Of steel and concrete

But every last man
In all of the masses
Though he lingers admiringly
Or hurriedly passes
Is of equal value
In the Creators eyes
We are His workmanship
Bought with a price
……….blood

Buildings will crumble
There is nothing so grand
As to be immortal
Or above the command
Of One, who created
Not of stone or wood
But blew on the dust
And made flesh and blood
…..man

Concrete and steel
Will crumble and rust
Flesh and blood
Will return to dust
But within every man
And beyond our control
Dwells the immortal
The undying soul

Janet~

Architecture is such a pleasure
To behold
The completion
Of a great dream
But as I stood gazing in admiration
As crowd upon crowd rushed by
It suddenly struck me,
Every single person, in every single city
Or in the remotest corner of the earth
Never escapes the eyes of his Creator.
Architects dream, build, die
None of their work will remain eternally
But every man, woman, child, baby
Who breathes upon this earth
Will meet their Creator!
Hallelujah, He has also given to everyone
Living Hope
For the soul that will never die.

Friday, February 18, 2011

My Life.....


You were little once
Tiny enough to fit inside of me
Yet big enough to become
The best part of my life

Now, with casual indifferences
And mindless thank-you’s
You gather up my life
And walk away

Janet~

Somewhere In-between....or simply Middle-age

I stood there once....
Poised on the edge of a shapeless future
Staring the unknown straight in the eye
Fearless, in the power of a dream
Walking, as it were
Through perfect pastures
Where realities were dwarfed by ideals

I remember now....
Wistfully straining to resurrect forgotten ideals
Trying to remember how I used to feel
Before dreams and realities coalesced
Before I turned to see time falling away
Like melting snow or darkness
On a murmuring field

Janet~

Too Far Away....


I wish that I’d be gifted
With the perfect words to say
I wish that I could touch you
You’re too far away
I wish that I could take back
The things that I regret
But, it seems I cannot
Nor can I walk ahead
I simply have this moment
I hold within my grip
In it I make my choices
Before they softly slip
Into the dim-lit shadows
Of silent retrospect
I hear their distant echoes
As I pause to reflect……..

Oh, I wish that I’d be gifted
With the perfect words to say
I wish that I could touch you
You’re too far away………..

Janet~

Thursday, February 17, 2011

The Duet


Its melody is intertwined
Deep in the heart of me
One part quietly resigned
As time’s swift hand I see
The other part is holding on
I will not let go yet
I’ll kiss the little freckled cheek
And brush the tousled head

The melody plays on and on
Beckoning me to dance
To its harmony I’m drawn
A mournful dissonance
Bringing a soft smile to my lips
A teardrop to my eye
As in its tune the minute slips
Into the by and by

It strikes each little purposed note
In somnolent discord
I help her find her boots, her coat
In songs without a word
The rising, falling harmony
Across the hours flowing
Life’s bitter-sweetest melody
…….watching my children growing

Janet~

He paused in the doorway, shifting his back-pack.
“So, Mom, what are you going to do today?”
I told him……..
“Good-by mom, I love you”
He is growing up.
The old saying goes like this,
‘How a son treats his mother, he will treat his wife’
I’ve lived long enough to see the half-truth in those words.
Now I teach the child: God, without You it would be too hard for me.

How is it that our greatest joys can also be our deepest sadnesses?

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Clandestine Meeting


Fancy meeting you here
I was turning to leave
When someone called to me
And there you were

You show up in the most unexpected places
Easily, you slip
Into the eyes and lips
Of other people's faces

There is nothing bashful in your stance
And you know what my answer will be
Even before you ask me
'Shall we dance'?

Why do you have to be so....nice?
I've never met anyone like you
It's funny, what a memory can do.....
And how willingly we pay its price

Yes, fancy meeting you tonight
I was really just out to get some air
But you seem to show up everywhere
Somehow you always get it right

Janet~

Gossip at the Corner Store.....


On and on her chatter flows
Only she hears it as prose
‘Oh, did you hear of this and that?
And isn’t Charlie getting fat?
I hear Mrs. Brown is pregnant again
I think this must be number ten’
She drops her tone a notch or two
‘Tell me, do you think it’s true?’
…….draws her brows into a frown
‘They say he has a mistress in town
And have you heard; his oldest son
Is really nothing but a bum
He sleeps till noon, is what I’ve heard
Why that is quite simply absurd
They say their daughter is a hussy too
And I'm inclined to think it's true
Her boyfriend has a wild tattoo
Rumor has it, she does too
Her pierced nose tilted in the air
Some kind of purple streak in her hair
She struts as if she owns the world
I’d be ashamed if that were my girl
I feel sorry for Mrs. Brown
She can’t know what’s up or down
Ever so busy and pregnant again
Why would anybody want ten??!!!!
I should take her a cake, I guess
For goodness sake, her house was a mess
That last time I dropped in by surprise
My, you should have seen the look in her eyes
But she took the clothes off a chair for me
And asked if I’d like a cup of tea
Of course, I didn’t want to be rude
So I said okay, it was surprisingly good!
Considering I hear she’s an awful cook
You’d never know it, by the way she looks!
Oh, I’ll take two dozen eggs, that should be enough
I’ll send Jake by later for the rest of my stuff
Well, I better be on my way
So much, so much to do today…….


…….and Mrs. Brown could finally move
from the aisle in which she was standing……

Janet~

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Chapters



Even now, in the frigid low-light of the day
Though I cling tenaciously, they slip away
As the moon in soft, translucent glow
Spreads her charcoal art-work on the snow
Even now, these tranquil moments spend
Their one brief gasp, to begin and swiftly end
These chapters

The ocean appears a formidable and fearless force
It ebbs and flows, it shifts and rolls and roars
But mightier still, as from the shore I gaze
Is time’s unaltered will, the reckless speeding of my days
I cannot stop the wave though I protest and plead
Nor can I seal the grave of history’s insatiable need
Of chapters

What can I do but smile and weep, hold on, let go
The things I keep are like the shadows on the snow
Perfect in the moment they are cast
A precious, silent memory when they’ve passed
But we turn back the pages now and then
Silent musings written without pen
These chapters


Janet~

Monday, February 14, 2011

Beyond Her Reach


Somewhere the white waves wash away
The ambling footprints of the day
Somewhere the kindness of a man
Warms the heart of his woman
Somewhere the seed of true surrender
Yields a bloom of peace so tender
Somewhere the purple twilight glows
Softening the restless breeze that blows
Somewhere the child is rocked to sleep
As angels loving vigil keep
Somewhere the wavering melody
Of midnight sets the new day free
Somewhere, somewhere beyond the blue
Rests every precious thought of you

Janet~

A Longing in her Eyes.........


You come to me
A memory
A sudden catching in my throat
And I inhale
Your soft appeal
Like the scent of last year’s coat
Your stale perfume
Permeates the room
I press my face to the window
But all I see
Is a willow tree
And its silent, swaying shadow

Janet~

Beyond My Window........


Beyond my window lies the field
A cold and placid icy shield
It does not smile or even wink
--Shrugs off the skies of muted pink
Nor does it yield in slight relent
To speak of warmer hours spent
Here lies the frozen, silent vale
Beneath the blue and moaning gale

So what if she did wear the gown
Of fairest June; the emerald crown
So what if now I sit and swoon
To yearn for summer’s afternoon
And dream of hours slow and lazy
So what of dandelion or daisy
She takes a keener, hard delight
And flaunts her chilling garb of white

Beyond my window to my glares
She returns unflinching stares
While snow-birds skim, swoop low and glide
Above her palm, pale and wide-eyed
No hint of sultry August haze
Or gleaming wheat-fields rippling sways
Boldly she bares her icy arm
And dares the winds of warmer charm

Beyond my window lies a field
Soon, ah soon her crest must yield
To the sunlight’s softening ray
To the lure of spring-times day
Soon her cold and sullen stance
Will be the floor where bare feet dance
Soon her pasturelands will brim
With the sparkling strands of spring

Janet~

I know....there's been a few 'window' poems recently.
Symptoms of feeling slightly 'caged' perhaps?:)

Love Poem



When the touch of your lips has cooled on my skin….I love you
When you’re a million miles away again….I love you
When the fields where we danced have lost their glow
And the hills of chance are covered in snow…..I love you
When it’s raining outside at one a.m…..I love you
When tear-drops are love's bitter gem…….I love you
When all the books in all the world
Fail to touch the thoughts I hold….I love you
When you’re a hundred poems away….I love you
When you forget the words I say….I love you
I love your hands, your lips, your eyes
In them I fall through weightless skies…and I love you
When silence replaces our carefree laughter…I love you
In the middle, before and after…..I love you
When each sigh is breathed in vain
As I cry for love's kind pain….I love you
When all the roses’ petals fade…
When we relinquish plans we’ve made….I love you
When passions dreams lie in the dust
And it seems all we have is trust….I love you
When you breathe against my ear
Or you’re a half a world from here…..I love you
Morning, noon or in the night….
When your eyes have lost their light….I love you
Without beginning and without end…
Where the dark and light shades blend….I love you
In every silent, longing breath….I love you
Forever and ever, in life or death…..I love you

Janet~

What Is This?


What is this?
This blend of desire and devotion
What is this?
This well of inexplicable emotion
A constant hunger, yet profound satisfaction
A perpetual need; a thing, yet an action
This shoulder of warmth and true contentment
What is it? This joy, wrought with disappointment?
What is this thing that grows as we’re giving?
The soul’s silent cry in every man living
It’s potential as vast as the sky above……
…….why it is this little thing called love

Janet~

The Way of Love...from the Bible


1 Corinthians 13: Faith, Hope, Love

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal.

And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.

And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;

Does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;

Does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;

Bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away.

For we know in part and we prophesy in part.

But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away.

When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.

And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.



The best thing St. Paul ever wrote! Taken from the new King James version of the Bible. I have examined many translations and this strikes me as the best: it retains the gorgeous poetry of the old King James version, while including a crucial improvement: the translation of the Greek word "agape" as "love" rather than "charity". "Agape" (pronounced a-ga-pay') refers to neighbourly love. I suspect that in the 17th century "charity" had a much broader meaning than it does today. --Franca Leeson

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Our Greatest Need


What intricate creatures are we?
Similar, yet each our own mystery
Creations of flesh, blood and feeling
Emotional beings of internal appealing
Humanity; prone to want and greed
For our very nature is one of vast need

In the first breath we draw our need is there
The need of hands, to hold and care
Left alone and untouched, we will die
We are creatures of need from our very first cry
As each need is met we unconsciously prove
The universal need in everyone is love

There is no one who is complete on their own
We need each other; we are empty alone
There is no one who does not need love
And if we have known love we have known God
To say there is no God but to profess love to another
Cannot be; there is not one without the other

For God is love; He cradles the earth
His love forms us and gives us breath
To know love is to glimpse His face
It is our choice to know His grace
But He knew our need; He died to prove
The immeasurable depth of His great love

Janet~

Dear friends, let us love one another,
For love comes from God.
Everyone who loves has been born of God
and knows God.
Whoever does not love does not know God,
for God is love. 1 John 4:7-8

Read 1 John ch. 3&4

May we all know Love this Valentine's Day!

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Hidden......


In the dark we can not see
The cold stone wall
Where the ivy climbs in frozen tendrils
'neath winter's chilling pall

In the dark we cannot see
Indelible memories glare
Entangled like the frozen vine
Beneath the midnight's stare

In the dark we cannot see
The light of truth or lies
In the dark we breathe
And close our eyes

Janet~

All I Want.....


I don’t need any long-stemmed roses
Chocolates when eaten are air
That small velvet box that opens and closes…..
….is nothing more than a stare
Sugary words are sweet for a moment
But in the end they will not do,
Darling, I’ll tell you what I really want
All that I want is you

Candles and wine are nice over dinner
And I love a slow dance or two
When I’m in your arms I feel like a winner
Because all that I want is you……
Darling, the night is not getting younger
And quite frankly nor are we two
But oh how I wish the night was longer
Because all that I want is you

Janet~

Rocking Chairs


Someday, oh my darling,
Should our rocking-chairs point west
And instead of looking forward
We look back upon the past
Someday when dreams are a mere speck
Like faint stars up above
Darling, I want you to know
You’ll still be my true love

Someday when we have trod the miles
That now we dream of walking
These will be the tears and smiles
We’ll speak of as we’re rocking
I’ll admit, of ups and downs
We’ve borne our little shares
But we’ll forget life’s little frowns
From our rocking-chairs

Someday the future will be past
Complete with joy and sorrow
But true love holds our purpose fast
And keeps hope in tomorrow
And should the good Lord up above
Grant us those rocking chairs
You will still be my true love
And answer to my prayers

Janet~

The Truth about You.....


There is nothing incidental about you
You re-define things, like the color blue
You take the little nothings of my day
And make them extra-ordinary in your beautiful way…….

I love the way the darkness falls on your face
Softening your eyes, every line I would trace
You are my one special ‘no regret’
A lazy afternoon, sweet-warm sun over-head

The untouchable shadows in me, you pervade
I release my misgivings and watch them fade
Into the soft sky of purple and blue
Where past sorrows lie on yesterday’s dew

You pour into me the essence of youth
Love is not some far-flung truth
Nor is it a quick-flash, raging desire
Love is a long and slow-burning fire

Once we were strangers; and I never knew
The truth about love until I loved you
Darling, we’ve come a long way since then
I wish we could start all over again

Janet~

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Little Thoughts


You reside in my eye
Like the aching grief
When little pleasures die

When you are gone
Thoughts become
Blazing illusions in the sun

With fluid ease
You surpass my concrete walls
Soft as a summer breeze

I have traced
Every angle of darkness
In the tears I've embraced



J~

Halting and Full of Denial


They are invisible
Slipping off the deep side of my heart
They defy reasoning
In the weighted pleasure they impart
They color my world
Sparkling and blue
These are my perpetual
Thoughts of you

J~

Love's Kindness


I am unbothered by the blue of your gaze
I do not notice the contour of your face
I care not at all for the soft sigh which slips
From the tender traces of your pleasant lips
You do not tempt me in any way
Or rouse me by any fair words you may say
You don’t cross my mind and I do not weep
Love is so kind when I am asleep

Janet~

Through Windows


We gaze through windows
At people’s lives
Watching them come and go
Seeing the would have’s
And should have’s
In the low-light glow
Of another day

We gaze through windows
Where others have stood
Deciphering questions
Of evil and good
While summer rolls into fall
And winter melts
Into spring

We gaze through windows
Tallying passion and purpose
With high-pitched voices of the past
Seeping through
Like dust-sparkles
Caught in the trance
Of the morning sun

We gaze through windows
To the scrap of a dream
Rolling across the lawn
We gaze through windows
Waiting to greet
Our loved ones
As they come home

Janet~

To My Child


Once, I too was young enough
To be empty of intent, even to love
White-eyed worry never crossed my mind
Life was flurry as free as the wind
But that was a little too long ago
I’ve not always been a mother, you know

Once I did things mothers do not do
My miles were a slow train to nowhere too
I had days that seemed harsh and unfair
When mother was surely too busy too care
The dark rim of the hilltops blotted my view
Oh honey, once I was just like you

The geranium cannot grow without water
Once, long ago while I was still just a daughter
Love nurtured every leaf and bough
Given by my mother in the best way she knew how
Her words were odd and old-fashioned too
As she told me 'once I was just like you'


But now the dull pane past which long hours crept
Has given me scenes I have looked on and wept
The yard rings with praises that strum in my soul
While motherhood gazes life’s halves become whole
I brush from my cheek the kiss of life’s dew
For I cannot speak, once I was like you

Janet~

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Empty-chair Reasoning......


Were you with me there?
I still see you
In the empty chair
The dull-knife pain
Endeavoring to pry
The lid from a tear
That has long been dry
But every now and then
Off the wave rouses
A new burst of pain
As I pause to stare
Beyond life’s bitter wisdom
To the empty chair
And the dull-edged knife
That offers no reasoning
Other than…..life

Janet~

And Blood-streams Ache......


As the rough fibers of his jacket
Burn their farewell into her cheek
She cannot see beyond the moment
Or hear the words they speak
But feels the reddened torrents
Drip in quivers from the sky
Landing in impending silence
Good-bye,
Good-bye
Good-bye

Janet~

While Driving my Daughter to Work.....


The burnished sprockets of a new day
Stretch from far banks purple and gray
In the half-light of dawn, the mist
Is a low-laden pillow, slumber-kissed
Our breath freezes on the air
In little mini-clouds of prayer
It is foolish to tarnish this day
With the dark shadows of yesterday
We lift them to the Higher Light
He helps us walk by faith, not sight

Janet~

It is because of the Lord's mercies
that we are not consumed, because
His compassions fail not.
They are new every morning;
Great is Thy faithfulness.
Lam.3:22-23

When It Is Silent.....


When it is silent
Then we look upon
The broad backs of
Wiser words
Which we ignored
In the rush of noise

When it is silent
We allow ourselves
Freedom to be honest
About our thoughts of others,
But mostly
Of ourselves

When it is silent
We stop moving,
Parting the tall reeds
We dare to dream
Pushing them with each breath
Beyond our skin

When it is silent
We either live or die
As the night flows on
Past the blooming of ourselves
To spawn
The flowers of tomorrow

Janet~

Of That Which Once Had Been......


The half-silhouette of you
Warms me tonight
I see your eye of blue
In the flickering firelight
I hear the moan of your sigh
In the glistening frost
Incandescent lullaby
Crooning to a dreamer lost
In the arms of brawny bliss
On a dance-floor, meadow-green
Yielding to each fragrant kiss
Of a summer that once had been

Janet~

Murphy's Law


Your gaze was steady
Blue-eyed and ready
The consent in your half-smile was clear
I could feel the caresses
Of a-thousand ‘yes’s’
Burning the atmosphere
Too bad you’re standing
Way up on the landing
Whilst I am a-way over here………..

Janet~

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

The Night of Winter..............


Daylight; softly falling
Like silvery echoes
Of children calling
From frozen meadows
In a muffled past
We trace the winding footprints
Through the long, blue shadows cast
As the moan of twilight glints
Against the moody flare
Of naked arms stretched darkly
Rigid, the wooded limb and bare
Its silhouette, sketched starkly
‘Gainst an inky canvas where
The sliver of a moon reclines
On the intricate fringes
Of the raven pines
And their whisper tinges
The bare walls of the sky
In an icy splinter
The tear becoming a sigh
For the night of winter
Is a drawn-out lullaby

Janet~