Monday, March 5, 2012

Contemplating Fear...

I fear the future quiet:
I fear the quiet of a still and sterile kitchen
Where there is no sound but the refrigerators hum
Once a haven of lively discussion
Of jam spills and chatter and breakfast toast-crumbs

I fear loss:
Anticipation, as a new day is stirred
The memory of your laughter in my ear
The lure in the dance of written word
The pleasure of having you near
The sanity I once took for granted
And maybe the tear as well
Because Alzheimer’s has stolen the person
Long before death’s gentle knell

I fear for my child,
Who, without no or yes
Has received the inheritance
Of my stubbornness

There is the fear of the unknown
Or the loss of a child’s faith
As they begin to question
What once they believed
There is the fear of evil
Hidden in a guise
That is soothing and delightful
To undiscerning eyes

I fear, more than losing a child to death
Losing a child to this world.

I thought once that I feared growing old
And I guess, perhaps if the truth were told
I still do

I fear being poor…
Not seeing gold in the sun
Sapphire in the sky
A diamond in the dewdrop
Or perhaps, in your eye
The riches of wisdom
Traded for dross
The folly of temporal
Molding eternal loss
I fear not wanting what I have
As I stand at autumn’s door
Knowing I must be brave
For I cannot return to summer’s shore

...sometimes I fear the rustle of the newspaper
becoming the wall we don't know how to climb
having nothing left in common
but what once was
and the ache for it to return
once more

But when fear overtakes me, and darkens my day
I close my eyes, talk to God until my fears melt away
He takes my despair and anxiety
As He whispers, dear child, I will never leave thee.

© Janet Martin

I never dwell on my fears for fear that fear will overtake faith.
But I did stop to consider them as I contemplated the Poetic Bloomings prompt.






7 comments:

  1. Janet, this poem deals with so many universal fears, I think. Fear of losing children to this world, fear of Alzheimers, fear of nothing to communicate with the one cared about, etc. etc. I know I have said it before in regard to other poems of yours: but I do think this is one of my favs.

    (And I invite you to look at my current poem; as I think you will like it!)

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  2. Mary, thank-you~
    While I do not consider myself a 'fearful' person, I realized that I have very deep underlying fears as I contemplated them...and if the truth were told...I guess I fear raw honesty too...some of my very deepest fears I fear to tell for fear of being misunderstood:) I have a feeling you understand.

    Thank-you again.

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  3. Janet, this is heart stopping...
    Bravo for facing fear...

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  4. Janet, your words absolutely riveted me. Such an honest poem, with all of the worries we are prey to - the many losses - your lines about losing children to the world especially hit home. Wonderful writing, deep and full of humanity.

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  5. I can relate to all the fears you're dealing with here. Thank you for your honesty. A rustling newspaper becoming a wall is a great image. The whole poem is great.

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  6. Thank-you to each and everyone for your visit and your thoughts~

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  7. I want to say something too ...
    A great poem!...
    I fear raw honesty too for the same reason ... and yes, i fear - until my faith too steers me away from my fears .... Dealing with fears is such a constant challenge....that's why keeping the faith is so so important

    you always touch a chord... )

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Thank you always for your visit and your thoughts.